Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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