I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
