I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
