Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize