He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
