I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
