so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I intend to get homeless drunk
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
