garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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