Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I wear drunk well.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
