what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
