ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
then he tried to convert me to islam
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize