id be glad to
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
