My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize