no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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