Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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