I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
