census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Randomize
