and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
