Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
