I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Panties = found
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
