I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
