no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
