I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
