if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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