cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize