I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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