it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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