Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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