it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
