i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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