What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
