I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
