Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
