And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You pole danced in your parka.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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