i was born a porn star she said
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Drunk walkin through police station. America
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
