He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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