My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
