It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
