I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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