well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
