Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
