tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
