is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
