There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You smell like stripper and shame
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize