i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
