yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
