Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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