I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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