Taylor Swift is so right about you.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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