he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
