Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
50% drunk capacity currently
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
