I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
