I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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