its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
