meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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