Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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