Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So here I am, sexting at work.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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